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This movie was so unspeakably awful that I’m almost tempted to sue Artisan Entertainment for pain and suffering. Every scene is either incredibly offensive, awkwardly unfunny or both. Don’t waste your time or money on this unwatchable crapfest.
As a general rule , I endeavor to reserve ratings of 5/5 stars for picture show that really hit it out of the park in all aspects . as well , I attempt to earmark paygrade of 0/5 stars for flick that have no cashable qualities to them whatsoever . Most movie are somewhere in between ; there ’s usuallysomethingthat you could glean from a movie , no matter how bad it was . However , Boat Triphas received the dubious honor of a zero - star rating from me . There is literally nothing worthwhile about this moving picture . There are no redeemable quality whatsoever . This motion-picture show is a cinematic nature nugget . It ’s not even pleasurable as a " bad movie night " feature . It ’s unspeakably awful .
The moving-picture show set about out with Jerry Robinson ( play by Cuba Gooding , Jr. ) take away his girl Felicia ( played by Vivica A. Fox ) on a romantic date and ask her to marry him . Not only does she say no , but she also break up with him and leaves him for another man . Six months later , he still misses her and he has n’t moved on with his life . ( In other language , Jerry is an idiot . ) His friend Nick ( played by Horatio Sanz ) is trying to get him to do something social , so he accept him to a local guild . Not long after they arrive , they come across a happy couple who met on a singles cruise . Being the super - maven they are , they get the lustrous estimate to go on a singles sail to meet women . Through an fantastically preposterous serial of event that I wo n’t go into detail about , they end up lease a cruise , but it ’s a mirthful sail .
Jerry and Nick take a disturbingly long clock time to realize that they ’re on a homophile cruise , but once Jerry realizes what ’s expire on , he drowns his sorrows in booze . He ends up becoming so drunk that he ca n’t stand up on his own . He ends up return into the kitty and almost drowns , but he ’s rescued by a beautiful woman named Gabriella ( played by Roselyn Sanchez ) . As it turns out , Gabriella is the saltation instructor on the boat . Jerry and Gabriella quickly become good friends , but before Jerry can bust a move , he pull in he has two problems . First , Gabriella has had a string of bad relationship , so she feels more comfortable being around gay military man . secondly , she thinks Jerry ’s homo . ( Hmmm … now why would she think that ? There are several awkward scene in the movie to further reward her effrontery that he ’s merry . ) Of course , rather than tell her the true statement and make this flick all of 15 minutes long , Jerry decides to differentiate Gabriella he ’s gay so she can palpate comfy being around him . ( Is n’t that sweetened ? )
As you might guess , Jerry ’s lie quickly coil out of ascendence , and he has to pile even more lies on top of it to make Gabriella guess he ’s gay . To make matter worse , she tell him that she ’s starting to have feelings for him , but he ’s already rest to her about being gay . How does he get out of this mess without completely alienating her ? At this point , we have a potential passion interest for Jerry , but what about poor Nick ? Well , there ’s no need to interest , because the Swedish sun tanning team happen to be strand at ocean , and opine which boat terminate up rescuing them ? ( I only wish I were make this up . ) Being the genius that he is , Nick tells the women he ’s gay , at once micturate them feel comfortable around him . He ’s immediately attract to Inga ( played by Victoria Silvstedt ) , but Sonya ( played by Lin Shaye ) , the squad ’s coach , stands in the fashion of true dearest .
As if the movie is n’t risky enough already , it get even forged . The rest of the movie consist of tasteless and vulgar attempts at wittiness , mostly centering around gay stereotypes . Jerry keeps up his gay act with Gabriella , eventually appear in full pull . Nick make several endeavour to meet up with Inga , but what stop up happening or else is downright atrocious to watch . And to top it all off , Felicia has a change of affectionateness and ends up boarding the boat looking for Jerry . Wanna guess what he look like when she ends up discover him ?
So now Jerry has a pick to make . Should he select Felicia , who came back to him just like he wanted , or should he prefer Gabriella , who is a hottie ? And if he chooses Gabriella , how will she react when he tells her he ’s been lying to her the entire clock time they ’ve known each other ? Regardless of which alternative he makes , will mountain of preposterous complications develop to stretch along this motion-picture show ’s distance another 15 minutes ? Seriously , this movie is only 95 minutes long , but it felt like four hours . You may think you may guess the utterly predictable ending , but this movie sink to levels of folly that I did n’t think were humanly possible . I have heard that a film from the 60 ’s calledManos : The Hands of Fatewas so unfit that it inflicted actual pain and suffer on its witness . Well , I ’ve never seenManos , but alas I have seenBoat Trip , and it bring down pain in the neck and suffer on me . I ’m almost tempted to process Artisan Entertainment for having to endure such agony . I only catch this because my cable system company bid a spare trailer of the Showtime channel ; I have terrible compassion for anyone who in reality paid money to see this cinematic cow pie .
This motion picture was write by Mort Nathan and William Bigelow , and direct by Mort Nathan . Both have experience in TV ; Mort Nathan worked onThe Golden Girlsand William Bigelow run onThe CommishandMurder She Wrote . I could understand a relative newbie writing and/or directing something this putrid , but these guy are seasoned pros . What were they thinking ? Most of the plaster bandage does a seemly Book of Job with the inadequate material they are given , with the ironic exceptions of Gooding and Sanz , the two lead doer . Gooding ’s career has really hit a downward spiral;Boyz n the HoodandJerry Maguireare safely in the history ledger , and with movies like this stinking up his résumé , he ’ll have a really baffling prison term being occupy seriously as an actor . Roselyn Sanchez was the standout in this movie ; why is n’t she produce better roles than this ? Did my eyes deceive me , or was that Roger Moore playing a small function as Lloyd , the British homosexual bozo ? ( dumbfound ta have all the stereotypes covered , old chap … ) And even the biggest Will Ferrell sports fan will have a hard time explaining his cameo in this pic .
As a general dominion , I ’m not well offended , but I must say that most of the humor in this movie was so barbarous , tasteless and vulgar that I was in person wound by it . This movie was in the first place shot in 2001 , but did n’t strike theaters in the USA until 2003 . ( If only the studio apartment had tried a little heavy to keep it shelved … ) I initially thought the point of the movie was supposed to be " gays have feelings too , " but it ’s not . With all the tasteless and offensive homophile joke and stereotypes , how can it be ? I really do n’t recollect the movie has a point to make . I think it was nothing more than a bunch of pathetic , misguided souls who collectively thought something was funny when it was n’t , combined with a healthy dosage of doer who needed paychecks . The end resolution is a cinematic geartrain wreck that should be deflect at all price .
Boat Trip is a 2002 comedy film starring Cuba Gooding Jr. as Jerry Robinson , a man who , after being dumped by his girlfriend , decide to take a gay cruise with his friend Nick ( Horatio Sanz ) in the hopes of take on women . However , things take an unexpected turn when they are mistakenly identified as a festive couple , run to a series of mishap .
Boat Trip is a 2002 comedy film starring Cuba Gooding Jr. as Jerry Robinson, a man who, after being dumped by his girlfriend, decides to take a gay cruise with his friend Nick (Horatio Sanz) in the hopes of meeting women. However, things take an unexpected turn when they are mistakenly identified as a gay couple, leading to a series of misadventures.
Boat Trip is a 2002 comedy film starring Cuba Gooding Jr. as Jerry Robinson, a man who, after being dumped by his girlfriend, decides to take a gay cruise with his friend Nick (Horatio Sanz) in the hopes of meeting women. However, things take an unexpected turn when they are mistakenly identified as a gay couple, leading to a series of misadventures.
